Mothers! what a concept

My wife revealed to me that she really dislikes Mother’s Day services at church, because the gushy, flowery, inspiring stories about perfect mothers makes her feel even more guilty about her perceived inadequacies in that department. As a result, my wife sometimes feels depressed and unworthy when Mother’s Day comes around.  I was really at a loss to respond to her then.  Mostly because I’m one of those who need a chance to let things ruminate while I formulate a reply, but also because there is really no way to immediately let her know how much I disagree with her assessment of her performance.  Words really seem worthless and a present is really cliché.  Flowers are nice and so are cards, but both really seem insufficient ways to show how much I appreciate my wife for the job she is doing as a mother and to my mom for what she has done and continues to do for me.
It’s not that moms have children that make them so great.  Its not they raise them, feed them, bathe them, clothe them and potty-train our kids.  It’s not just that they stay up nights with them when they’re sick and provide a shoulder to cry on when things get tough.  Its not that they have to fill all of those wonderful roles in their respective households that makes them so great. Although, those things are amazing and I am eternally grateful that we have mothers here to carry them out.  Maybe it’s because I see motherhood from a different perspective as a husband than I did when I was a just a son, but to me, it is the sum of the parts.
It just might interest many of you to know that mom’s are like real people with dreams, aspirations, hopes and fears.  While they are dealing with all of these facets of their personalities they are also engaged in trying to do their level best in dealing with the hopes, dreams, fears and aspirations of brand –new people.  In other words, inside every woman who is capable and has made the choice to become a mother, there is still a woman—a whole person with needs and dreams that has put many of the things she has always wanted aside to spend time wiping hineys, chasing naked kids from the bathtub, fighting kids to clean their rooms, trying to keep track of games, recitals, parent-teachers conferences, and innumerable other scheduled items as well as dealing with the emergencies and unplanned events that somehow just come up.  Add to this the prospect of a pudgy little bald guy coming home from work whining and complaining about his day and about his hopes, dreams, fears, and aspirations (then hoping she’s feeling a little frisky later) and you have a person who should be honored, respected and quite honestly given the Nobel Prize.  
That’s what makes moms so great to me.  My wife says she hates the stories of those “perfect” mothers that everyone tells at church on Mothers Day.  The truth is, I have a feeling there are days in every mother’s life when she has regrets and insecurities about her decision to be a mother.  She has times when she wonders how she can bow out gracefully and go back to just worrying about herself without feeling guilty about wanting to do the things she wants to do. The fact that real mothers don’t bail, even while they could (and sometimes want to), makes them extraordinary in my eyes.  There probably are no “perfect mothers” Just like there are no other perfect types of people.  That quote from the “Batman” movie sums it up pretty well.  “It’s not who we are that defines us, but what we do” Mothers do marvelous things for very little appreciation.  When we do show appreciation one day out of the year, we give them candy, cards, flowers, dinners, days off, presents, etc.  I am sure these are appreciated, but in reality, I’d love to give her more.  One of these days I’d like to show her how appreciated she is by finding a way to show her that I know she has dreams and hopes for her own life and then helping her reach them.  Just like all of the good and bad aspects of motherhood there is always . . . more to follow