Cyber guilt

Ok. So I'm reading my wife's blog and she has this wonderful new post that I am reading. I'm cruising my way through her thoughts and feelings and her cool way of saying things only to realize after I get almost all the way through that it was a setup. I don't know how often this happens to other men, but apparently I've been cyber-guilt tripped. The question remains: Is virtual guilt as effective as its real counterpart? The answer is apparent in that I am blogging again for the first time in months because of it. I do like writing in my blog, I just don't take the time to do it as much. Maybe its because my wife is always on the computer. Nope, men are just as ineffective at cyber-guilting their spouses as we are at the other kinds.

Anyway, with a little help from my kids. I came up with a variation on the "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie" series. Maybe they'll publish this one as well. I'll file this one under "Children's books we'd like to see"

If You Give a Porcupine a Wedgie

If you give a porcupine a wedgie, the chances are you're going to get a lot of quills in your hands.
If you get lots of quills in your hands, the chances are you're going to have to see a doctor to get them all out.
If you go to a doctor to get them out, the chances are that you're going to have to wait in a waiting room for a long time.
If you wait in the doctor's office for a long time, the chances are that you're going to need something to read in the doctor's office.
If you want something to read in the doctor's office, the chances are that the only thing they'll have to read is old Ranger Rick magazines.
If all there are in the doctor's office is old Ranger Rick magazines, the chances are that there'll be at least one article (with color pictures) about porcupines.
If there is an article (with color pictures) about porcupines, the chances are that you're going to get really upset that you have to wait in a doctor's office for a long time trying to turn pages of a Ranger Rick magazine with porcupine quills in your hands just to find an article (with color pictures) of a porcupine.
If you get really upset that you have to wait in a doctors office for a long time trying to turn pages of a Ranger Rick magazine with porcupine quills in your hands just to find an artucle (with color pictures) of a porcupine, the chances are you're going to probably do something rash.
If you are so angry that you are willing to do something rash, the chances are the first thing that will come to your addled, frenzied, porcupine-hating mind is to go out immediately and go up to the first porcupine you find and give it a giant atomic wedgie.

What do you think? Maybe I'll never be a children's writer. But that's ok. At least I'll have my cyber-guilt to keep me warm.

. . . more to follow . . . probably